Lose yourself?

Life throws at us problems of undefinable magnitude and credence. And it is often said that difficult circumstances demand difficult decisions. But letting the circumstances mould us just doesnt seem right. It has happened quite often that people have changed and they cite the impossibility of the situation around them as the major factor. I have done it many times myself. And then I have realised that people can never really change, no matter what they do. Not when they have grown up to certain point, which I say is the point of no return. For some this might be at the age of 20, and for some it could be even 10- one can never tell. We have grown up in certain circumstances and possibly dealt with them in various ways, avoiding repitition in our methods 'cos I know I was more fearless at the age of 12 than I am now. Its kind of funny when we actually grow up and are more afraid of more things mainly because we have been "educated"- yes, education usually does take away something while giving us other things. Anyway, we finally choose, consciously & unconsciously in tandem, what way is the best for us to draw our plans for the road ahead. And possibly thats why we become more hesitant to do something 'new' or 'different'. And that's not always a bad thing.
Usually our 'self' will go through a lot of phases...where it is comfortable with what it is, and then question if it is really comfortable in itself, and then think that maybe it should try something new and try to 'fit in' with the rest and so on. In the end, the 'self' realises that it is a unique entity designed to not be similar to anything or anyone else.
Life will bring us face to face with a lot of situations where we have to hold our own and still dont. We let the whole situation overwhelm us. And that happens usually when we feel we are not strong enough. and that's why the situation will overwhelm us and make us make the apparently "necessary" and "required" changes in ourselves. The changes are very diverse and vary from person to person and situation to situation. The new 'personality' soon starts to get into conflict with the original 'us'. And the whole thing starts to become what we didnt want it to become. We belive we are doing fine in the changed scenario this way but we are never really comfortable because, the soul feels stifled. 'cos we have already crossed the point of no return. And 'cos we have let the circumstances dictate its terms to us, which if we dont agree with fundamentally, we will never be in agreement with it ever.
How often so many of us want to be someone else 'cos we feel that its going to make life easier for us. Eventually we will realise that we can never be anyone else but ourselves. Rather than cheat ourselves, it would save a lot of time & effort, if we focus on what we can do with what we have in hand.
How often I have wished I could say things just the way it is. That I could tell people exactly what I think they should know. However, I always feel that since we all are designed to know and feel, they will know eventually through symbols, messages and what have you. And then I do often come across a big wall- made of impatience, ego, dormancy, objectivity, objections, refusals, and everything that will blind one's third eye. And that is when I either say it bluntly or let it go if its not that important. And I have accepted that, not 'cos thats what is expected or 'cos its the most efficient (not even close!) way, but 'cos thats who I am.
The third-person is always very important in any situation...the way out of a maze is best seen when you are over it and not inside. When one is inside the maze, he/she has the opportunity to keep stumbling to dead ends and finally getting out OR they could make their own way out by pulling down the walls. The ways to do things are many and the choice is always ours. And the choice depends on what we can do best. In life, I wish we never lose ourselves 'cos thats all that is really ours. And more so 'cos sometimes it is others also who lose someone when you change yourself, but yeah, they will always be waiting for you.

~Good luck y'all

You

You.

You could twist words to your lies
you coud fake your smile
and still keep a straight face
you wouldnt care what they felt
you wouldnt even think about it
you wanted to but still couldnt
cos the chains of bondage restrained you
you were always ina world of your own
and one that you know u hadnt won
you believed it could be good
but couldnt do much to make it better
you said things u didnt mean
but inside you wished that you did
you pampered yourself with delusions
and fed us your fatal illusions
and in the end you didnt want to follow
for you faded away into the horizon
carrying a heart so hollow

You couldnt believe anything you did
You couldnt fall back to who you were
it was a fine breeze that pushed you
and it was a storm that pulled you away
You couldnt let go what was haunting you
but you could still step up to the light
You couldnt trust with ur eyes closed
but kept the strings tied real tight
You fed your imagination truths that never were
but let the facts hide between them
You didnt believe in forever for all
but lived a dreaded eternity
You were afraid of the dark walls
but you were the one who painted them black
You were afraid to fly away
and yet you did
You were too shocked to step forward
that you couldnt go back either
You couldnt row any further
but floating didnt seem an option
Fly you did finally, and far away
the chains were never really that strong
and now you live free...

You swept the night with light
and brought in the new day
You hammered your point well
but somehow left some loose
You gave it all as much you wanted to
but kept back nothing like you intended to
You felt you could hide in the shadows
but it is the shadows that hunted you
You wanted to be sure till the very end
but its the end that you only saw
You thought you knew yourself
but still asked me who you were
You believed you had scaled the walls
but you really had built a fort around u
You knew you had flowered into the tree
but were vague about who plucked the flowers
You cared nothing for what the world felt
but still you let them have their say
You were born to fight the odds
but with you they broke even
And as your steps often faltered
cared you not for yourself, or anyone
tripped often to oblivion to be called out again
the sea swallows you whole
and swimming is not all you need.

Gibberish

"Is it safe?"
"Seems like it"
"So, should I do it?"
"Maybe"
"But I heard that it is very dangerous"
"Then dont do it"
"But i want it"
"If you want it, do it"
"I havent had it for weeks now"
"Whats stopping you?"
"How can I be sure that it is safe?"
"You cant"
"I really want it"
"Your call completely"
"So you saying it is dangerous"
"No"
"So it is safe you mean?"
"I cant say"
"What should I do?"
"Find someone else."



I hope the paranoia about bird flu dies soon.