Its a misnomer really, "to lose oneself". Or maybe it is more often than not, misconstrued. And therein begins the misery of trying to grapple with the multitude of its meanings- almost like being spoil for choice of candy at the store. We like a few of them, and some others not so much- which may be picked up someone else. However, does it matter? Perhaps it does.
Even when Eminem sang his song with the same name, I dont think he meant that we need to lose our true "self" but to lose ourselves in what we truly enjoy and what means most to us. However, we see too often that people will give up everything that defined them and choose a life that they would never have ever wanted or would ever be comfortable with. I say "never ever" only 'cos when a fish is taken out of water, to expect it to survive longer than its possible for it to survive is really very optimistic. It is always good to be optimistic, yes- but there's a fine line between being optimistic and being stupid. Maybe the line isn't that fine.
Humans are very interesting beings and what makes them more interesting is the fact that they can take such decisions which completely go against what is common sense and logic. Perhaps, humans are fond of torturing themselves physically and emotionally. It;s their life so I dont have a problem with people inflicting themselves with pain. However, what I have a problem with is that this self-hatred spills onto areas of their life which affects those who consider themselves close to them. Again, like my strand of individualism, I have a monstrous gargantuan problem for its one thing to hurt yourself but to hurt others for no fault of theirs isn't the mark of a true individualist. And then again, do we want people to care. Maybe they dont, but most often than not, we tend to care. A lot. A lot more than we would like to accept or believe.
So when friends lose themselves, cutting off everything they have done and everyone they have met and loved for a life that they never wanted or their souls would never want to breathe in, it calls for a serious rethink of who you let into your lives. Or who you want sympathise with. Or who you want to give importance in life. Well, we cannot do much when the people we meet and the the people they become seem two different people, but to try and keep them to who they really are is our job as their true friends. But then, do we ever know who they really are if they can get up one day and throw it all away? I guess, thats why we say, "all we have memories"- becomes a very significant line when peope do "lose" themselves. Perhaps it also means that we will always be waiting for them to come back...and that we will always be waiting for them- however late they are. Perhaps.
