Design School- bittersweet symphony

Two semesters in design school and I am just getting my feet wet- through inspiration persistence and the inescapable aggravation. The whole experience can be either enhanced or mitigated by the instructor that one has and like any group, they tend to vary. The best ones that I have found are those who ask the best out of us by letting us go wild, by being open to new ways and actually paying heed to our suggestions- 'cos they are mature enough to realize that we bring in certain experiences that they themselves may not always be aware of. But mostly, what makes these instructors good is that they do not necessarily teach what they know but what they have learnt. I am grateful to every single of my instructors who asked us to go crazy and think out of the box, to play to our strengths, make our projects 'special' and even develop what would normally sound ridiculous to them.

Often, in my life, I have seen that the best teachers are those who actually learn from their students and even accept when they are wrong even if they initially thought they were right. In a field like design, we can often get myopic and stop thinking like "regular" people- almost developing a sense of arrogance and a superiority complex about how things should look and feel. The best designers are those who are humble and I try my best to be so but it surely isn't as easy as it sounds- yes, despite having spent only a year in design school!

However, coming to the dark side of design school we have the teachers who are cocky, super-arrogant, stuck up and with absolutely myopic visions- and I feel that they are the ones who are a super bad influence o budding designers like me- and it works in two ways. Either students become like them or they become very aggravated- both injurious to the design process which calls for inspirational and exceptional thinking.

Sometimes, since we are students, we tend to look up to our faculty and oddly enough, I have seen people even gravitate to these dark Severus Snapes- and so far I have seen them to be either men or "programmers". Don't get me wrong, I have had some awesome male teachers but the others are the ones who should never be teaching in the first place- with their narrow outlooks or raging hormones. And it is even sadder when i see girls/women going all soft on them- reminds me of how even dirty old artists have women swooning over them despite the shit and filth that is coming out of their mouths and minds- kind of makes me question their sense of perception and intelligence. Also makes me think that I could get away with so much as a teacher! Sad. But, mind you, not all women are like that and those who are not get the rough end of the stick- but of course.

And then, there are those who don't want to stand up to these dictators-in-disguise teachers just 'cos they don't want to get into trouble and wreck their chances of a good grade. I think that often people forget that we are not here for good grades but to learn and create good design- even if it means going against what the 'teacher' thinks is the "correct" way to do something- and that can happen only if we have done our homework thoroughly, have faith in what we what researched and made. here is where we have to shed our own myopic outlook and over-dependence on our instructors.

And now, those people who spent a good part of their life learning the ropes of programming stuff, they have more often than not killed their chances of having good visual design because they start working within the strict constraints that they know and impose on themselves- and when they pretend that they are geniuses of visual design- its really pathetic. That said, I have been fortunate to have teachers who are programmers but who do not pretend to be great visual sense- honesty, a virtue I truly admire in everyone, especially designers and teachers. Here it is apt to remind people of the popular fact- you cannot do two things well at the same time. That should suffice for this argument.

I know that I probably have ended up sounding conceited, pretentious, arrogant, full of myself and very opinionated. I think the truth does make on sound like that. And all I am really saying is that the teacher-student equation is of equals to a certain extent especially when it comes to what each can offer the other. As students we have to be open to experimentation and realize that design is not just about making pretty things and that certain processes are important but they should never be something that dictates our own personal processes that works for us in individual capacities. Also, we need to always remember that we were once the "general public" and that we are still talking to them- and that we have to be humble about it and not become smaller versions of the little man from the 1940s with the short mustache and who wore a red band on his arm (yes, Hitler). Intelligent design comes from the acceptance of varied aesthetics, the individuality of projects, shedding dependence on familiar processes and the synergy of processes.

The worst phrases you can possibly hear in design school -
"I am not convinced"
"Stay within the grid"
"This is the only way to do it"
"There are some rules in design you have to stick to"
'We have to teach people good design"
'Sketching is archaic"

The best lines that I will always treasure -
"you can do it"
"Break the grid"
"Go crazy"
"Its possible"
"There are no rules in design"
"Everything is project specific"
"Sketching is important and fun at the same time"
"You are never done"
"Play to your strengths"
"Do not copy anyone else- you can always make your style work"

And that's why I still love design school despite the occasional speed-bumps. The bad guys are everywhere but it just means that we are being tested to be superheroes.

Duality-cruelity

The duality of things bugs me though that is the only thing that exists in universality and uniformly. It exists in so many forms that it makes one feel almost helpless. However, it shouldn't mean that it is "right".
There are different types of people- those who do not care what happens to other people's stuff and those who do not care to what happens to their stuff. For example- a person may use their exacto knife only on cutting mats to preserve the blade but will go ahead and use someone else's exacto on metal surfaces. Then another person will be so afraid of spoiling it, that he wud rather not use the exacto at all! I guess, if one has to use that exacto, they should and do exactly what they would with their own exactos- but ofcourse, respect the exacto if they borrowed it from someone else. The line that divides is rather thin but who decides it? The person him/her self.
What is this fuss over a exacto? No, noone used my exacto on a steel table- in fact I dont even have a exacto and dont use one! But consider this, if we were really liked milk chocolate and did not eat in front of someone else for you did not want to seem silly, would that be being true to who we are? Or if we like to eat at macD but you never went there with your friends for they think it is cheesy, would that be honest to yourself? What happens to that craving to eat that big juicy big mac with fries and a large coke? It ends up just being a craving, which starts to fade eventually and you end up going to Le Pain pussy ass watever cafe even if you hate the food there! Don't be the person who does not eat chocolate for fear of putting weight and still have all the bread in the world, with coke. I suggest large servings of chocolate and ice cream every single time- and reward yourself with a cake if you may! Though be cautioned, what I am NOT suggesting is eating everything at once!

The edge I lived on now lives within me- the gripes

(from December 27 2007)

Its been long but in essence nothing has really changed in my world. I still think the same way but with a different perspective and from a different place. And all the while time has been moving on. Life has been running away too. It is the end of this year and it still feels like it was yesterday that i was making my way here from home.

I have been asked a question so often but for a change, now I know the answer.
I have been made to do things that I didn't think I would ever do. I did them and did a good job.
I was asked to think differently like everyone else- so I thought like everyone else but differently.
I am in the city of lights but I realize that is what makes the dark spots even more scarier.
I find that people can have opinions which do not correspond to them but to what they want to live as.
I find that to make someone love something you feel strongly about, you need to love that very thing yourself just as much.
I have learnt that if I have to learn something, I have to be able to teach that thing to myself.
I have been taught that there is never one way of doing things and yet I find those who think there is.
I tried to do the things most outsiders don't do- and realized many insiders also do not do it!
I thought I knew very little and I learnt that I know even less.
I have deduced that it is not always hard work that will pay off- it is the chances that I take that will.
The biggest thing that I have learnt is that taste is relative and the stubby snobs will always exist.

They try to drag me to the abyss.
To the orifice I pull them.
They try to show a light that leads to the dark.
To the day I forced myself.
They will always stay the they and I will stay me.
And no matter how they change, I never will.
I am stubborn, I am incorrigible, I am unyielding
but most of all, I know the essence of me
and I care less for the gaps that need to be bridged.

The edge I lived on now lives within me- the prologue

(from June 12)

I was tested and measured and often found wanting
And there were times when I could sweep through situations like a pro
I would exceed expectations in things I hardly had any expectations from
I would struggle to meet the hopes I would pin on things I expected a lot from
Things would never be normal for me and to me it was the mythical horse I'd never seen
Never was the road I chose a straight one and yet I never seemed to turn any other way
I knew the mirror on the wall lied but that was what the world saw
It showed that I could be caught in a moment whenever anyone glanced upon it
but I knew I was not even standing there when that happened.

When I answered to them, I was posing questions without asking
When I picked up the pen, it was to erase the lines on the page
When I got up to walk, it was to find a more comfortable place to sit
When I ran inside during the rains, I just wanted to watch


I am still tested but I dont measure anymore
I have no expectations and yet exceed them
I love the unusual for its tomorrow's regular
And the mirror only shows a light even when I am in front of it

I am the question
I am the blank page
I am shade in the sun
and I am the rain

Trample I dont on your feet
walk away I might
but to come back again
its not a unresolved fight
And we are fighting no more
'cos the sun kisses on a winter day
but burns if you get too close
and yet we try 'cos we're here to stay.
They call me a fool and so do you
I would rather be one than not
for that's what I call home
those few inches, thats all I got.